Ever since my first day at work, i have always thought that i was cursed with a very very low self esteem, which is the main reason that failed me to influence my peers and colleagues or just anyone around me. Until one day, when i read a book by a tremendously brilliant author, Les Giblin; i feel that i am back in the game. Not only was i managed to gain the priceless knowledge in dealing with people more confidently, i am now also able to master the art of influencing others without having to be the Hitler in my workplace.
This is what Mr. Giblin has to say and hope you too can benefit from it...
"All of us including you and me are egotists. We are all more interested in ourselves than in anything else in the world. Every person you meet wants to feel important, and to “amount to something”. To feel that they have some value or meaning in this world. There is a craving in every human for the approval of others, so that he can approve of himself. You can injure a man physically, you can steal his goods, and you can damage him in all sorts of ways, and get by with it. But the one unforgivable sin, as far as human relations are concerned, is to trample on another person’s ego. The minute you detract it from another’s dignity as a human being, you are in trouble. Low self esteem means friction and trouble. But when self esteem is at a high level, people are easy to get along with. They are cheerful, generous, tolerant, willing to listen to others ideas. At this point they have taken care of their own primary needs and are able to think about the needs of others. Their own personalities are so strong and secure that they can afford to take a few risks, they can afford to be wrong and they can admit that they have made a mistake.
So, the basic secret is to help the other fellow like himself better. You need to give the other fellow a personal reason to help you and feed the fellow’s ego. A hungry ego is a mean ego because basically people act, or fail to act, largely to enhance their own egos"