Thursday, December 25, 2008
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Just Another Funny Story To Share
Mr. and Mrs. Fenton are retired, and Mrs. Fenton insists her husband go with her to Wal-Mart. He gets so bored with all the shopping trips. He prefers to get in and get out, but Mrs. Fenton loves to browse. One day Mrs. Fenton gets this letter from Wal-Mart:
Dear Mrs. Fenton,
Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may ban both of you from our stores. We have documented all incidents on our video surveillance equipment. All complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below.
Things Mr. Bill Fenton has done while his spouse was shopping in Wal-Mart:
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people’s carts when they weren’t looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the ladies rest rooms.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, “Code 3 in house wares”… and watched what happened.
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M’s on layaway.
6. September 14: Moved a ‘CAUTION - WET FLOOR’ sign to a carpeted area.
7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he’d invite them in if they’ll bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. September 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cry and asks, “Why can’t you people just leave me alone?”
9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, and picked his nose.
10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.
11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the ‘Mission Impossible’ theme.
12. December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look’ using different size funnels.
13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yelled “PICK ME! PICK ME!”
14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumes the fetal position and screams “NO! NO! It’s those voices again!”
And last, but certainly not least…
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Dirty X'mas Joke
One day a hippie gets a ride on a public bus and sees a hot young nun. He sits down next to her and promptly asks if she would like to have sex, to which she immediately says no and walks off the bus. The bus driver leans over and says “Hey guy, I know how to get that nun to have sex with you…”
Naturally the hippie asks, and the bus driver tells him that every night at midnight the nun goes to an old graveyard to pray for god to forgive her for her past, and that he should dress up like god and tell the nun she will be forgiven if she has sex with you.
The hippie gives his thanks and runs to the nearest costume shop.
Later that evening the hippie gets ready for his big night and drives down to the graveyard and sees the nun praying, on her knees. He says “Behold, I have heard your prayers and you shall be forgiven if you have sex with me!”
The nun agrees but asks if they can have anal sex in order to keep her virginity. The hippie agrees and once they are finished the hippie jumps back and pulls off his mask and says “Surprise, its me the Hippie!”
The nun jumps up and pulls off her mask and says "Surprise, its me the bus driver!"
Con under the Name of Political Party
“The Sarawak United People’s Party (SUPP) is currently collaborating with a financial institution on a special welfare scheme for senior citizens. Under the scheme, eligible senior citizens would receive monthly assistance of RM360 from the party through an appointed bank.”
Monday, December 22, 2008
Something To Ponder
(To Women) please take time to ponder .........
(To Men) enjoy the moral of the story........
Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer and, If after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death.
The question was: What do women really want?
Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end.
He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone: The princess, the priests, the wise men, and even the court jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer. Many people advised him to consult the old witch, for only she would have the answer. But the price would be high as the witch was famous through out the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged.
The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no choice but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer the question, but he would have to agree to her price first.
The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, the most noble of the Knights of the Round Table, and Arthur's closest friend! Young Arthur was horrified. She was hunch-backed and hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage, made obscene noises, etc.
He had never encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life. He refused to force his friend to marry her and endure such a terrible burden, but Lancelot, having learnt of the proposal, spoke with Arthur. He said nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur's life. And the reservation of the Round Table. Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the witch answered Arthur's question thus: 'What a woman really wants?
She said, 'Is to be in charge of her own life.'
Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth. And that Arthur's life would be spared. And so it was. The neighboring monarch granted Arthur his freedom. And Lancelot and the witch had a wonderful wedding.
The honeymoon hour approached and, Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom. But what a sight awaited him. The most beautiful woman he had ever seen lay before him on the bed. The astounded Lancelot asked what had happened. The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she appeared as a witch, she would henceforth be her horrible and deformed self only half the time. And the beautiful maiden the other half.
'Which would you prefer? She asked him. 'Beautiful during the day..... or at night?'
Lancelot pondered the predicament. During the day he could have a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his castle, an old witch! Or, would he prefer having a hideous witch during the day! ? But by night a beautiful woman for him to share his thoughts, intimate moments with?
(If you are a man reading this...) What would YOUR choice be?
(If you are a woman reading this) What should YOUR MAN'S choice be?
What Lancelot chose, is given below:
BUT... make YOUR choice before you scroll down below... OKAY?
Noble Lancelot, knowing the answer the witch gave Arthur to his question, he said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself. Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time. Because, he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her
own life.
Now... what is the moral to this story?
The moral is...
1) There is WITCH in every woman no matter how beautiful she is!
2) If you don't let a woman have her own way, things are going to get ugly. Hehehe...
So, always remember:
IT'S EITHER 'HER WAY' OR IT'S NO WAY' !!!
The sort of witch to every men's dream...
Signing out. TheWonderWoman
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Get Ready For The Anti-Smoking Campaign 2009
“Effective January 1 next year, smoking along five-foot ways and outside shopping malls will lead to a fine.”- source of The Borneo Post."
There you go folks! Don’t say that we didn’t warn you this time. Believe me this time it is for real! The anti-smoking campaign carried out by the government is getting more strict and forceful now. There will be additional ‘prohibited zones’ to be introduced coming next year which includes ban in places such as bars and clubs. Since the start of the year, the authorities together with the Kuching divisional office team has been conducting anti-smoking rounds which takes them from the airport to shopping complexes, schools, hospitals, public transportations and also air-conditioned eateries. Such places will be defined as any public place under a roof. Some smokers will also find that lighting up outside airport terminals including the parking bay is no longer allowed. The law is so that younger people are aware of the dangers of smoking and there is also a need for them to see less of their peers and elders smoking in public areas. Offenders who caught up smoking at these prohibited areas will be issued a fine amounted to RM500 for each offence. Failure to pay up fines will lead to court where sentencing can be up to RM10,000.00, two-years jail, or both.
So, lets give all of our support to this campaign this time around. For fellow smokers, my message to you is “You might want to consider quitting that bad habit of yours soon. In other words, your new year’s resolution perhaps? Good luck. Signing out. TheWonderWoman.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Something To Cheer Us Up
"Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!"
I guess human beings are special creation from God after all... =]
Monday, December 8, 2008
Selamat Hari Raya Aidiladha
Sunday, December 7, 2008
The Cutting Edge, Kuching
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Civil Servants To Share Training Material
Do you know that with effect from 25 November 2008, it is a mandatory for employees returning from state-funded training course to share their knowledge with others. This would mean they need to post all relevant information to the State Civil Service knowledge-sharing portal for the benefit of other civil services.
The portal, which enables knowledge resources to be centralized in one unified system, was officially launched by Chief Minister, Pehin Sri Haji Abdul Taib Mahmud on the same day in conjunction with the State Public Service Assembly held at the State Indoor Stadium here in Petra Jaya.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Why Not Many Non-Bumis Interested In Civil Service?
There is no doubt that government servants have many privileges compared to the private sector. The salary alone is relatively higher than what is being offered in the private sector to start with. Then there are the benefits such as good health care, yearly incentives, housing allowances and many more. However, non-Bumis were seen to be less enthusiastic to apply for jobs in the government sector through the Public Service Commission (PSC). So what may due to such scenario? Some say it is due to the non-Bumis have lower chances to be accepted in the government sectors to compare with the Bumis. And even if they were accepted, they felt that they would not be in a better position compared with Bumiputeras because of the perception that the government favoured Bumiputera workers. Or is it due to many non-Bumis preferred to earn a living by doing business than getting employed?
Well, if you were to ask my personal opinion on this matter, I definitely would say that the non-Bumiputera community had never been discriminated against. We have never seen jobs recruitment ads for civil service mentioning that only Bumiputeras are allowed to apply, or has any of it makes it a mandatory requirements for applicants to have studied in Malay school and what not (not like what we often see in the private sectors recruitment ads where it had stated clearly that applicants with fluent Mandarin is PREFERRED!!!) So there you go, there should be no more excuses for the non-Bumis to even think that they do not have equal opportunities to be in the civil service. If you have applied for a civil service job many times or filled up the online form for more than you can remember, and still not getting any feedback? Believe me, you are not alone! Even many of my friends and myself experienced that too. In fact we’ve been filling up that online form for god knows how many times. And we have waited and waited up until now, and sadly we were only called for the preliminary examination before we could be considered qualified to attend the interview. And to be honest, we didn’t get to go for the interview.
So, this is what I had to say. Never give up! If there’s a will and so there’s a way. Of course a stable job with a high salary and lots of benefits would be a hard catch right? These days, if the benefit is great, the bigger the effort you must give. Trust me, everyone can be in the civil service. All you need is just HARDWORK. If it is any help, I am now making my best contribution in the civil service and I’d still remember the girl sitting next to me on my 1st day for duty. She is one hell of friendly, intelligent and confident CHINESE lady. Signing out. TheWonderWoman.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
They Walk Amongst Us!!!!!!!
I received this in my e-mail the other day and thought that i should share it with you guys since it is madly hilarious. I laughed so hard till my tears came out =] ENJOY!
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Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge,
he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: 'Free to good
home. You want it, you take it.' For three days the fridge sat there without
even one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided that people were
too un-trusting of this deal. It looked to good to be true, so he changed
the sign to read: 'Fridge for sale $50.' The next day someone stole it.******************************************************************************************
One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when someone
shouted....'Look at that dead bird!' Someone looked up at the sky and
said...'where???'*
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While looking at a house, my brother asked the estate agent which direction
was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every
morning. She asked, 'Does the sun rise in the north?' When my brother
explained that the sun rises in the east, and has for sometime, she shook
her head and said, 'Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff.'
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My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard
one of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn she got on
her weekend drive to the beach. She drove down in a convertible, but 'didn't
think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving'.*
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I told the girl at the steakhouse register that I wanted the half kilogram
sirloin. She informed me they only had an 500g sirloin. Not wanting to
make a scene, I told her I would take the 500g steak instead of the
half-kgr.*
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My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car it's designed to cut through a
seat belt if she gets trapped She keeps it in the boot...*
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My friends and I were shopping for beer and noticed that the cases were
discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier
multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount.... *
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I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring
attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, 'Wouldn't the chain rip
out every time she turned her head?' I had to explain that a person's nose
and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is
turned...*
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I got off the plane but I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area.
So I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags
never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a
trained professional and I was in good hands. 'Now,' she asked me, 'Has
our plane arrived yet?'...*
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While working at a pizza parlour I observed a man ordering a small pizza to
go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut
into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding..
'Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces.*
Yep, They Walk Amongst Us!!!!!!!!